I just started watching Mad Men this season, after I caught a few episodes on a Delta flight and got hooked. (I have no idea what twist of fate dropped this gem in my lap and spared me several hours of Two and a Half Men or Jon and Kate Plus Eight, except that I have a history of fortunate flying, and have been seated next to more than my fair share of wildly attractive strangers. Don’t worry; I’ll get what’s coming to me.)
Everything I had heard about Mad Men is true: The episodes progress as slowly and meticulously as chapters in a Dostoevsky novel, Don Draper is an unequivocal womanizer, and the dresses are real pretty! Wardrobe aside, I enjoy the slow pace and rich shots because I watch television very closely and can’t stomach the shaky cameras of reality shows. After following the show for only a short time, the characters have become fixtures in my life, and when I clicked over to the Emmys directly after an episode last month and spotted Betty Draper standing on stage, she looked as still and deathly serene as she always does, and I couldn’t get it through my head that she is an actor, not a housewife.
As Mad Men received the Emmy for Best Drama that night, on another channel at the same time the show was throwing a bomb at its unsuspecting viewers.
The episode was more boring than most. For 45 minutes it had waded through corporate meetings, reorganization flowcharts, quiet conversation after quiet conversation, and was about to arrive at a long-awaited conclusion during an office going-away party for Joan, replete with birthday cake and bounties of booze, per usual at Sterling Cooper Ad Agency. Peggy and Joan were talking about something boring, a few people in the background were playing around on a lawnmower on loan from John Deere, and then — then, the totally unbelievable happened:
Warning: If you get offended or nauseated easily, do not watch this video. If you are a good parent, do not let your child watch this video.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you invest in promotional first aid kits.
Creative Writing Intern
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