The following story takes place on the sparkling clean beaches of the Jersey Shore:
One day Danny told all of the kids working his T-shirt shop to come downstairs for a meeting. “We are going to be having a little competition from now on,” he explained. “Except I am going to make it really hard on about half of you. All of the awesome people are going to be on one team, and the rest of you who only lay around on the beach are going to be stuck on the other. I think you know who you are.”
As Snookie, Vinny, and Sweetheart Sammy looked at each other, they knew they were the latter team. “What should we call ourselves?” Snookie wondered. A light popped up above Sweetheart Sammy’s head for the first time in her life, and she blurted “We are like so Badass! We should name our team that!” The threesome grinned, honestly believing that they came up with the most original, coolest name ever conceived in the history of the Jersey Shore.
The rest of the Jersey Shore-eans rolled their eyes at their friends’ horribly lame attempt to bring something to the table. The Situation, Pauly, and Ronnie headed off to the gym to work on their A-game. As they were pumping iron to prepare for some serious fist-pumping later on that evening, they were discussing their Italian heritage. “We are so mafia,” grunted The Situation between reps. “We should call ourselves The Untouchables. Team Jackass has nothing on us!”
The three boys got back from the gym to find that their Italian flag bearing laptops had been hacked and now proclaimed “Team Badass Rocks!” Pauly was heated and wanted to start a fight, but JWow convinced him to wait. “You were working out hard at the gym and this was what they wasted their time on,” she explained. “Did you ever hear that story about the grasshopper and the ant? They are just playing games while we are preparing for the real challenge.” Pauly looked confused, Why is she talking about bugs? , but he decided not to start a fist fight with his roommate anyway.
The two teams conversed on how to get more people walking the boardwalk to come in and buy T-shirts. They only had one week left until they had to present their ideas to Danny. Team Badass continued to pull stupid pranks, like put photos of ugly donkeys up in their rooms and write on the Shore blog that the other team sucked. The Untouchables, however, were not fazed. They knew that they were, after all, untouchable. There was really nothing to worry about. The Untouchable team did a group fist pump, and prepared for a night of clubbing down at the Jersey Shore.
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